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  »  New  Roomy the cat is going to sell speakers?!..  The residues of your adolescent imagination....  Audio Discussions  Forum     4  45301  09-14-2007
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Romy Sells Out

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Wilson Audio Buys Rights to Romy's Amps and Speakers

Due to a reversal of fortune, Romy ("who would have thought all those air core capacitors would have added up to so much") sold all the schematics, rights, and designs of his Super Melquiades amps and Macondo speakers to Wilson Audio. When Wilson auditioned the components he thought they showed great potential and felt he could take a chance on them.

The first thing Wilson did was change the "impossible" names to something more digestible for the audiophile. The Super Melquiades became the "Super Size Milqshake Amps" and the speakers became THE BIG MAC.

Wilson then set about fixing the deficiencies of the speakers. The recessed midbass was improved by using digital equalization and adding a rear-facing 18" open baffle Kevlar cone. "The midbass is so important we want to make sure it is loud enough and that you hear it from several directions."

"Also it was obvious that the speakers were severely deficient in the top end," sighed Wilson. During testing with advanced audiophiles we noticed that they never covered their ears during violin passages, a sure sign something was wrong. We, therefore, added four of our new stainless steel tweeters. "You should see them cringe now! That’ll double sales."

At their first major stereo show, audiophiles lined up for blocks to listen to THE BIG MAC. The universal and unanimous conclusion was these speakers provided the best Patricia Barber yet. "It was like she was in the room with us!" shrieked an advanced audiophile. As an unexpected result, the sale of Patricia Barber records soared and copies began commanding several thousand dollars each on eBay. Classic Records immediately reissued all her records in 99rpm 1000gram versions. Each single album now required 25 one-sided 1000gram pressings, which lasted 90 seconds each. The first five press runs have all been sold out. Clearaudio wasted no time in releasing a 99rpm turntable with 15 motors and 15 motor controllers (deluxe version soon available).

Audiophiles cannot spend their money fast enough on THE BIG MAC, records, and turntables. Wilson observed that thanks to Romy's speakers he now has a different colored Ferrari for each day of the week. Patricia Barber said she couldn’t thank Romy enough for having his speakers "put her in the room" so she will not longer have to be present at stereo shows.

When Romy was asked about the financial success his speakers have brought to Wilson and the others, he replied, "I am fortunate to have sold to such a skilled group of music lovers who have been able to improve my designs so greatly and bring so much good music to people around the world." Romy then passed out flat on the floor. Close examination revealed that puppet strings had been attached to all his limbs and that a miniature tape recorder was in his mouth. Investigations have begun and both "Stereophile" and "The Absolute Sound" vowed to get to the bottom of this as soon as they have finished reviewing the 99rpm Patricia Barber on THE BIG MAC through a Clearaudio table.

LATEST BREAKING NEWS. Wilson Audio sells rights to the Super Size Milqshake to Lamm Industries. Mr. Lamm commented, "This is a lucky day for Roman. Finally he will have someone who will be able to redesign the Super Size Milqshake so that it can play psychologically correct music. I will of course have to replace nearly all the parts but fortunately he chose to use the 6C33B of which I have lots and lots. Since he used so many in his design I can now charge 50% more than any of my other amps. Make that 100%."

Romy was not available for comment and was last seen in downtown Boston with a boom box panhandling for batteries.

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  »  New  Roomy the cat is going to sell speakers?!..  The residues of your adolescent imagination....  Audio Discussions  Forum     4  45301  09-14-2007
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